Why You’re Obsessed with Others’ Opinions and How to Break Free from Their Judgment

Do you often find yourself in an endless spiral of thoughts about how others might perceive you? "Did they laugh at ME? Did I communicate in the right way? Was my outfit too silly for the occasion?' You are not alone!

Obsessing over how others might perceive you, trying to figure out what they might think of you, can come from a deep-seated insecurity and lack of self-confidence. While everyone craves social acceptance to some degree, chronic people-pleasing is not healthy in the long run.

Possible Roots of your insecurities

People who have been ridiculed or made fun of, often may end up losing their sense of security around people. This, in turn, can make people addicted to positive feedback from others.

This experience can lead to excessive people-pleasing and submissive bahaivoir. An antidote to this can be to rebuild your trust in yourself and find out your true identity. It's important to realize that your identity does not exist through the eyes of others, but through your own.

Understanding Self-Consciousness

People who are overly self-conscious worry that their inner judgments about themselves will be confirmed or reflected from the outside. The more insecure you are about your insecurities, the more anxious and tense you become. Your fears can paralyze you and make it difficult for you to express yourself authentically.

Steps to get unbothered from the opion of others

1. Get to know yourself

Who are you? What kind of person do you want to be and where do you want to go in your career? You should have some idea of the answers to these questions. Only people who know themselves know where to start making changes. The better you understand yourself, the better you'll be able to deal with outside judgment. Spend some time getting to know yourself. Find out your values, your passions, and what really makes you happy. This self-knowledge is the foundation of healthy self-esteem.

2. Own your flaws

Accept the fact that you have flaws and begin to own them. Do not be a slave to your flaws. Everyone has difficulties that are not visible from the outside. And if we could get a glimpse into the world of others, we would be shocked or amazed at their inner world and the inner and outer discrepancy of these people. We all face challenges that may not be obvious to others. If we took the time to understand each other better, we'd be amazed at how much we have in common.

3. Work on your confidence

True self-confidence comes from within and is never given to you from without. No matter how much praise and affirmation you receive from the outside, it will never be enough if you lack confidence. Set goals that you want to achieve. Visualize what you have already accomplished and celebrate each milestone. Over time, you will build a repertoire of positive experiences to draw on.

The more you learn about yourself, the more comfortable you will be in your own skin. The more insecure you are, the more easily you will be influenced by other people's opinions.

4. Be nice to yourself - its your first time experiencing life

We're not saying you should stop taking responsibility for your actions or bad choices. Once you've taken the steps to register them and stop doing things that aren't right for you, you can stop beating yourself up for mistakes you can't change. Everyone acts based on their knowledge and emotional maturity.

5. Dont judge others, try to understand

We are very quick to judge others by how they look, how they act, and how they choose to live. Without knowing the context of their thought process of their behavior, we assume that we have the sovereignty to interpret their behavior. At the same time, we can't even catch our breath when someone DARES to criticize us personally.

The harsher you tend to judge others, the more you judge yourself, and vice versa.

6. Take a break from Social Media

Social media is the place where we like to present ourselves as the person we want to be. And yet, we often find ourselves becoming envious at the sight of others. Even though we know that this is only a fraction of other people's lives, we inevitably end up comparing ourselves to our peers. Stop stalking people you know will make you feel bad. Stop watching other people's lives and start living - or creating - your own.

It's important to remember that your feelings are not always wrong. If you find yourself in a toxic environment where people are constantly talking about each other or where you feel only tolerated, even the highest levels of self-esteem can make it difficult to feel safe. It may be helpful to consider changing your environment, either to a place where you feel liked, or at least to a place where respect is a fundamental aspect of the environment.