Your self-concept is the idea you have of yourself. It can make or break you. The danger about a negative self image is that it doesn't even have to be true or realistic, but by accepting it you set yourself up for failure.

Our self image includes external beliefs, criticism and rejection from the past. These negative thoughts become our emotions, and if they are repeated often enough, they become our reality - and therefore our perceived identity.

It is therefore important to work on a healthy self-concept, which includes our self-image, self-esteem, our ideal self and our social self.

Here are some steps you can take to start working on your self-concept.

 1.     Get to know your current self

Only those who know themselves, their weaknesses, patterns and advantages can successfully coordinate themselves through the world - without being influenced by every opinion and without a constant need of validation.

Write down your…

• everyday life

• current job

• wishes and goals

• weaknesses

• behavior patterns

• emotional patterns

• daily thought patterns

2.     Your ideal self

After defining your current self, you can start answer following questions:

• Who do I want to be?

• Which areas of my life am I dissatisfied with?

• What is my ideal life situation?

• How does my daily routine look like ?

3.     Create the bridge to your ideal self

• What do I need to do to get where I want to be (sport, education, coaching)?

• What conditions are beyond my control that I have to accept?

 —> Practice radical acceptance of unchangeable situations and circumstances.

4. Start to believe that your goals are accessible for you, (too)

Many people discard their ideas or wishes because it is beyond their imagination and they simply cannot see themselves in a certain role. Thoughts like:

I'll never be like her/him.

I don't have the required abilities

I don't have xyz.

I’m not that person

= I am just not that type.

are often thought patterns, that we encounter when we want to take on bigger goals.

But let us introduce you to a secret: Goals, dream and wishes are for everyone and dont need you to be a special type. The only required characteristics are self-confidence, motivation and discipline.

One of the most important bridges between your ideal self and your current self are your thoughts. Contrary to what you may believe, your thoughts are not an uncontrollable programme, but something you can actively address and control.

Take active responsibility

While many circumstances were beyond our control, the presence and handling of your problems is now in your hands. A passive role will keep you trapped in the situation you detest. Accept the fact that you are always to some extent responsible for your situation.

 

Know your self worth

Your self-esteem is your healthy immune system for dealing with others and with yourself. It protects you from blind self-hatred and self-criticism and enables you to deal with yourself in a healthy way. It also helps you to correctly categorise and deal with sticky situations and power games when dealing with other people. In social situations, it means that you are not easily upset or insulted, that you can manage situations competently and not become a passive bystander.

By valuing yourself, you show others how to treat you & by working on your self-esteem you get closer to your desired version of yourself.